The Search For Love

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“Spouse House” is a show on TLC about a bunch of men and women in their 20s/30s who get thrown into a house and talk to each other and interact. Every week the men are asked if they want to propose to the woman they are “pursuing”. I watched it for a couple minutes as background noise while I was making my breakfast this morning. These people are desperate for love. Honestly, aren’t we all? While I was thinking about this show, I knew the advice I’d give them (or anyone) about love. When you think you’re in love, or you’ve found someone amazing, RUN TO GOD. You should acknowledge and appreciate the beauty of who they are, but turn to Christ. HE is our model for love: look at the cross. HE is the reason we find the person we want to spend our lives with: look at your blessings. And HE is who we must love first: think of your future spouse. When we turn to God, we better ourselves. We become happier because we are closer to the perfect model of devotion. So when you’re searching for love, search for Jesus. He’ll guide you to them.

God’s Reoccurring Lesson

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This was a reflection I wrote a year ago today. Funny how God reminds me of His lessons annually. 🙂

A couple minutes ago I left my home to go study for my summer class. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to study at the library or at Martin’s, but for some reason I just kept driving past the library and accepted that I was going to Martin’s. While slowing down at a stoplight, I was thinking about how closer I could be with the Lord. I turned on some music and looked in my rearview mirror. In the car behind me was a girl bawling her eyes out, not at all trying to keep it together. I really felt for her (we’ve all had those moments), and continued driving when the light turned green. Before I got to the next light, I realized that I shouldn’t just spend more time with God for my own growth, but in order to support others. Stopped at the next light, the girl is taking deep breaths and re-applying her make-up. It goes to show that people cover up their emotions every day. We need to make sure we are empathetic and kind to everyone we meet, because we have no idea what happened in their life minutes before we encounter them. If you’re feeling bland in your relationship with the Lord, take this as a sign that He wants you to draw closer to Him for your growth and for other’s around you. Ask where you should be placed, and He will put you there.

A Talk On Adoration


Here’s my talk on Adoration from the Hoosier Awakening Retreat this past spring:

Hi guys! My name is Maclaine Capshew and right now I’d like to share a little bit about one of my best pals: Jesus. If you don’t know Him very well, there’s no need to worry because He’s very personable and is always available to get to know you better. I don’t mean to be particular, but my favorite place with Him is being in Eucharistic Adoration. We get to sit together and chill out away from the stress and anxiety of everything. The great thing is that this hangout exists no matter my situation. If I’m being completely honest, I feel the absolute closest to Him when sitting in front of Him looking at the golden glow of the monstrance. This feeling of closeness is one I experience with most of my friends, but is not always a guarantee. Since humans fall short and our friends are humans, we can sometimes feel they fall short and maybe even feel alone while with them. Like any sophomore girl who grew up in Nebraska, I look to my tween role models for assistance in most spiritual matters. To quote the world-renowned socialite and inspiration, Avril Lavigne, “Isn’t anyone trying to find me? Won’t somebody come take me home?” Although middle school days are over, Avril here is touching on a feeling we’ve all experienced at one point in our life. We look to belong to something or to someone, and rarely feel satisfied. The friendship I was talking about before, the one with Christ, is the only thing that could possibly fulfill this need we all have for finding a home. What Ms. Lavigne doesn’t realize is that Christ has found us and that He is waiting patiently in His home for us to come join Him. He is a constant that we continue to move closer to and farther away from.

Somehow, whenever I am adoring Christ, I feel at home and feel I have a purpose. Most times I attend adoration, I write a letter to God. September 16th I was sitting in the chapel with my good friends and wanted to tell God what I saw. Despite my fear of sharing something incredibly personal, I am going to read this letter aloud that is addressed to God.

“You are so beautiful tonight, Lord. You make me so happy and carefree. Thank you for the majesty you present and the grace you bestow. I can feel and sense Your goodness, oh Lord. Your mercies are new every morning. I think in this moment I’m realizing that though I come to You to receive a constant – a constant grace, a familiar feeling, a Lord that I know, You are ever changing still. Every time I come to adore You, I discover a new part of who You are. Every time You surprise me and steal back a piece of my heart. It’s not that You change every time I come to You, but rather that every time I come to You, you change me and make me better. Thank You for being the one thing I can solely rely on. Please bless my family and friends and help them to always know Your constancy.”

For me, Christ is an “always”. He is always gentle, just, and kind. He is always listening to our hearts and always healing our wounds. He is always present. Losing sight of His constancy is easy and leads us to doubt. Luckily, God is so generous and merciful that He sent His son to save us and give us a shot at the good life. Christ’s real presence is in the Eucharist which He gave up for us and we have the great privilege of adoring Him so intimately. Notice how Christ never turns away from us. In the monstrance, He is unfaltering in His direction toward us. Rather, we are the ones that turn away and become distracted. He is here for us in any situation: good or bad. I was with Christ after feeling empty when a tragedy struck someone very close to me. I’ve attended adoration in Poland with the Pope, though I lost my WYD group many times in the 2 million other pilgrims. I adored Christ with my best friend at St. Charles on 3rd St. after St. Therese gave him a red rose. I went to adoration at St. Paul’s though I felt lost looking for answers about my Grandma’s health. And I looked up in a chapel at the Farm only to find the monstrance surrounded by bouquets of roses on the ninth day of my novena to St. Therese. Through these experiences I’ve noticed a pattern: when in need, I go to adore. Being at IU, most students enjoy visiting home during the school year saying, “I just need a break. I need to get away from everything and see my family.”. This is how I feel about Adoration. You pack up the muddled pieces of your life, get on your way, and bring them home – to Christ. In adoration, you are yourself. You are fully you because you are with the one person who knows everything about you. Since Christ never hides himself from us in the monstrance, why should we hide ourselves from the most accepting person to ever walk the earth?

In Luke 15, Jesus tells the parable of the lost son whose loving father welcomes him home even though the son left and made mistakes while away. His father was unfaltering in his love for his son and waited home for the moment he came back. Adoration is where we come when we are lost because God finds us here and rejoices by giving us His son on the altar. It is said that you are most like the five people you spend the most time around, so choose wisely. When we spend more time with Christ, we become Christ-like. In the words of Grace Padget herself, “the less of ourselves we have, the more room we have in us for Him.”



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I’ve always loved airports. I personally grew up in airports between moving, visiting family, and seeing my dad. And every time, I go in there and I see hundreds of people walking all different directions. I don’t know where the guy on the left is going, or who the old woman behind me just said goodbye to, but we are all GOING. Some are for good reasons, some are not. But we are going. Something new awaits the moment our plane touches down. Some new adventure God has already written that we are simply arriving to experience.

I Have Good News.

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You will be disappointed. That job will fall through. She won’t remember to meet up with you. A loved one won’t return your call. You will be let down. The important thing to remember is that He will never give up on being there for you. When humans make mistakes, He is the constant that will never ever disappoint. Put all of your heart into Christ and you will be satisfied.


This “Jesus Thing”.

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I’m not a religious person. I don’t have time. I wouldn’t know where to start. I’m not a good catholic. I know plenty of good people that aren’t religious. I don’t want to be one of them. There’s too much to learn. I’m so many years behind. It’s too late.

I’ve heard them all. All the excuses used when one is in fear of the Lord. Every excuse is invalid when compared to Christ’s love. He made no excuses. He was scared and nervous to commit to all of our sins, but died for us anyways. Let us be Christ-like and make no excuses to get close to the Lord. It’s okay to be uneasy about giving so much to God, but give Him a chance. Maybe you’re not hearing Him because you’re covering your ears.

Fixing the Pain.

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Tough things happen in life. It is who we turn to in these times that tells us something about who we are. Do we turn to ourselves and put the sorrow only on our shoulders? Do we turn to earthly things to numb the hurt? Do we turn to our family in hope that they can fix it? No one should go through pain alone. Nothing finite can solve grief that’s in our hearts. No family member can fully heal a wound.

Turn to God. The man who is constantly standing with His arms wide open to you. The man who loves you as His child and takes care of you every morning by rising the sun for you to see. Turn to the man to had His arms open so wide on the cross that He reached the East and the West with His Word. Turn to Him, and there alone you will find your healing.

Appreciation, Not Possession

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I loved picking flowers when I was a little girl. I always knew how to get the prettiest bunch to grace the thin vases my mother had in the house. They usually ended up being some kind of weed, but I thought they were beautiful. After being in the vase for a couple days, they died and were thrown in the trash. When I was a teenager, I stumbled upon a quote by Osho that changed this hobby of mine. “If you love a flower, don’t pick it up. Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.” After feeling guilty for all the weeds and flowers I’d picked in my life, I gave it some thought. How beautiful love is that it simply sits in a field of flowers, and never picks one. Never possesses something so easy to have. God can do anything. He could have us all be madly in love with Him and that would solve everything, right? No war, no disagreements, no hate if we all loved God. But He decided to watch us fall in love with His Church, with His Word, with His Son. Because love is not possession. Love appreciates the beauty and cares for it in return.

Distance Does What to the Heart?

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Long distance. Even the phrase itself doesn’t sound appealing. Whether it’s running, dating, or seeing long distance, it’s not easy. We all have parts of our lives that are long distance whether that be tasks, relationships, or goals. This morning in my “BeLoved” devotional, I learned a couple things. It said, “The human heart longs for closeness – with its Maker and its match. When it feels distant, it grows weary. And when it grows weary, it wants to give up.” Maybe you feel very close to God right now and very distant from someone you love. Maybe you feel the opposite. Maybe it’s both. I’m here to remind you that distance requires effort. It requires you writing letters to the one you love so they know you love them. It requires listening to what they have to say even when it’s late at night and you’d rather be sleeping. It requires bettering yourself in spite of a blind eye. And yes, this is good advice for a long distance relationship with a significant other or a best friend. But I’m talking about your distant relationship with God. And my distant relationship with God. We all keep Him at arms length at some point, but I’ve found that the more we reach out and let Him in, the better those other relationships become. Today we celebrate Pentecost when Jesus gave the disciples the Holy Spirit. Thanks to Him, we were given part of the Trinity to remain with us to help with the distance. So when we mend our long distance relationship with God first, everyone benefits from His loving gifts and graces.


Is Patience Really a Virtue?

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Patience is important, but patience is difficult. I’ve learned a lot about this virtue from my Grandmother. After her stroke, she had problems with numbers, dates, and speaking clearly. A couple weeks ago she moved in with our family and it hasn’t been easy. I’ve been frustrated, annoyed, and impatient to say the least. But through it all, I’ve learned a couple things. Love people fully. I know none of us are perfect and can’t be there for people 100% all the time, but love them. Be persistent. God works through people in different ways and plants the Holy Spirit in their hearts. Never stop fighting for people’s return to Christ. Thank you, Grandma for teaching me what patient love looks like.